Man on My Back, Paralysis, Dual Consciousness

Tuesday Morning, June 5, 1990

A friend and I ate bad seafood on Saturday night. We both had cramps and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday. Monday night I went to bed very tired at around 12:45 AM.

I lay on my stomach and tried to go to sleep as quickly as possible. Soon I was in a dream in which a coworker was having convulsions on the floor nearby. When I tried to move to help her I discovered I was paralyzed. The dream world vanished and I was in bed struggling to move. This type of paralysis is not uncommon, especially when one is in the state between sleeping and waking. I have both read about and experienced such paralysis several times. It's usually unnerving, but it doesn't last long.

As I lay on my stomach trying to move I suddenly became aware of a man on my back holding tightly onto my neck and shoulders. I could feel his weight on my body and I could feel his breath on my left ear. I remembered reading Robert Monroe's account of the same phenomenon (in Journeys Out of the Body). Monroe identified the man on his back as his own physical body. I wondered if my astral body was simply out of coincidence with my physical body, making me think my physical body was someone else, or if I really had an unwelcome entity holding onto me. I tried to mentally create an energy field that would push the man off of my back. I also tried to move my physical body, which would end the experience. Both attempts failed.

Then I was standing in a dimly-lit room facing a light switch on the wall. I was conscious both there and in my paralyzed physical body where I was still trying to free myself of the man on my back. I knew if I turned the light on, normalcy would return. I flipped the switch but no light came on. Although I had previously used non-working lights in dreams as triggers to become lucid, this time it didn't work. I stood there staring at the light switch as my consciousness in my physical body kept struggling with the man on my back. Suddenly I was able to move my physical arms and the experience ended.

2008 Note: I had also read about the man-on-your-back phenomenon in other books and in Reflections on Lucid Dreaming and Out-of-Body Experiences: Father X in Lucidity Letter, June 1989, Vol. 8, No.1, page 39. In Father X's experiences the man on his back was not himself.


Copyright 2008 Jon Maloney

Projection with Dual Consciousness

Saturday June 28, 1986

I was trying to sleep late but the screams from children at the swimming pool in the complex's courtyard kept disturbing me. I was trying to get back to sleep when I felt my astral body separating. Suddenly I was flying through outer space. I did not experience a break in consciousness. I watched the distant, unevenly-spaced stars in all directions as I flew. Then I noticed I was not flying straight but following a faint curved trail I could barely perceive in the blackness ahead. At one point I slowed down quickly, changed direction, and accelerated to my previous speed. Finally there was an abrupt deceleration followed by a gentle feeling of sinking. The blackness around me was filled with tiny white spots moving upwards. I could not tell if I was moving down through them or if I was stationary and they were rising past me. They were too close to be stars. They reminded me of carbonation bubbles floating toward the surface of a drink.

Then I was standing near the center of a room facing one of the corners. The room felt familiar, like I belonged there. There was a large, slightly slanted, drafting table with a long fluorescent light attached. To the right of the drafting table was a desk. On the left were floor-to-ceiling shelves. The shelves, table, and desk were all cluttered with stacks of books and papers. As I examined the room I could feel myself lying in bed and I could hear the children at the swimming pool. I realized the room must not be real. I tried blinking to see if the room would change. It did not. Then I decided to look behind me so that if the room was a product of my mind it would have to be recreated when I looked forward again. I shifted my perception to behind me and then forward. The room was different. Instead of the previous furniture there was a bed piled with unsorted laundry. For some reason I believed the new room to be more accurate than the previous one. I felt like I needed to perform more tests to figure out where I really was. Then I was startled by a child's scream at the swimming pool and found myself wide awake in bed. The experience was over.


Copyright 2007 Jon Maloney

Astral Projection with Dual Consciousness

Monday August 12, 1985

I lay on my back trying to astral project from 10:30 PM to 12:30 AM. At 12:30 I gave up and decided to go to sleep. I rolled onto my stomach and turned my head to the left. A couple of minutes later I felt the internal motion sensations I've learned to associate with astral body separation. I felt my astral body move away from my physical body. My vision was very fuzzy. There was a faintly-illuminated, out-of-focus object in the center of my field of vision. It was as if I was looking through spun glass or cotton. The illuminated area in the center caused a tunnel-like effect in my perception. The object I was trying to focus on looked like it was five or six feet away.

I moved my head to get better focus and several things happened at once -- the object I was looking at moved, I became disoriented momentarily, and everything went black. A few seconds later I felt somewhat stabilized and my vision returned. I could see the light object I'd been looking at. It was my physical head! My head was lifted slightly up off the pillow and looking at me. My physical eyes were open. Suddenly I was aware and perceiving from both bodies simultaneously. Through my physical eyes I could see the bedside table and the bedroom wall directly behind the table. Astrally I could see my physical face looking at me. I felt disoriented for a few seconds and then stabilized.

I realized that to see my physical body from the angle and distance my view indicated, I was seeing through the bedroom wall and the bedside table. I wondered if those physical obstacles were why my vision was so poor. However astral vision works, I was looking through solid objects to see my body. Then I wondered if the gray fuzziness was because I was looking through my astral cord. I studied the area between me and my body trying to ascertain whether or not there was a cord. I couldn't see a cord and deduced that if one was there I was looking straight down it.

I kept feeling unstable like the experience was about to end. I guessed that the instability was because I was only five or six feet from my body. I figured if I could get away I could extend and clarify the experience. I visualized my best friend sleeping in bed and myself standing next to his bed. Nothing happened. I tried to fly straight up into the air like Superman, but was jostled and disoriented again by movements in both bodies. I looked at my face again and realized what was so unnerving. My past experiences of looking at my own face were always in a mirror. When I look in a mirror my reflection always does exactly what I do, but opposite. If I move my right the mirror image moves its left. In this situation my face and upper body were making the same movements I was making in the astral, which was very unmirror-like. When I moved my astral right, my body moved its physical right. That difference was quite disorienting.

At least three times, I tried to move and briefly became disoriented. Finally I made another strong attempt to fly away. The result was feeling motion and a big jolt. Suddenly I was completely back in the physical, propped up on my right elbow, and staring at the wall behind the bedside table. The bizarre experience was over.


Copyright 2007 Jon Maloney

Projection, Possession, Evil

September 20, 1977

This was one of my most intense dreams.

I was standing above a natural-looking grass amphitheater in the country. It seemed to be dusk and the amphitheater was filled with mist. I was at the top center of the slope leading down to the stage area. The place felt familiar although I could not remember ever having been there. The theater's shape and size reminded me of the large theater at Pompeii (which I visited in 1970). As I peered down the hill into the mist I noticed dim lights that looked like they were from houses. The place felt ancient, powerful, magical, and evil. I was nearly overwhelmed by the intense feeling of evil power.

I walked down a faint path toward the grassy stage area below. As I stood in the center of the stage area I noticed two plain wooden chairs at angles to each other a few feet from me. I also noticed two solid stone cylinders lying on their sides near the chairs. I looked up at the surrounding slopes and noticed the fronts of small houses built into the hillside. Each house was recessed into the ground so that it was only visible from the downhill side. The feeling of supernatural power became increasingly oppressive and an intense dread came over me. I felt like I had to sit down.

I moved one of the chairs so that it was between the two stone cylinders. Then I sat down in the chair and looked at the cylinders. They reminded me of ancient idols. Each one was about five feet long and two feet in diameter. As I looked at one of the cylinders I noticed there was a lifelike woman's face in relief, protruding from the side near one end. I walked over to the cylinder, grabbed the end bearing the face, and heaved the cylinder into an upright position. The woman's face was lower than my own. I examined her gray stone features and my sense of dread increased. I then walked over to the other cylinder with the intention of standing it up too. Before I reached it I felt a supernatural force overpowering me and I was gripped with terror. In panic I tried to run to the path leading up the slope. I knew if I could make it to the top of the hill I would be safe. The power was too great. I had barely reached the bottom of the hill when I felt my astral body leaving my body. I felt my knees buckle. My body crumpled to the ground.

Then everything became very strange. I experienced dual consciousness. I was conscious in two places at once -- both in what felt like my primary self floating above the theater, and in my other self which was a woman standing on the ground at the bottom of the hill. I knew the woman had forcibly ejected me from my body and had then possessed my body. Enough of me remained that I was still conscious in my body with the woman. I knew the woman had been trapped in the stone cylinder. I also knew that a man, the woman's mate, was trapped in the other cylinder. The woman was ecstatic. She exclaimed, "Oh yes! Yes! I've wanted this for so long! It's wonderful! Just to touch you! Hold you! To taste! To feel!"

Then there was a violent jolt as my astral self slammed back into my dream body. Simultaneously I was awake sitting up in bed with my heart pounding.

Copyright 2007 Jon Maloney